I SURE HAVE LEARNED A LOT OVER THE  YEARS FROM SHAKESPEARE, LIKE THE SAYING..."LOVE ME OR HATE ME BOTH ARE IN MY FAVOR...IF YOU LOVE ME I WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR HEART...HATE ME AND I WILL ALWAYS BE ON YOUR MIND." IT'S FASCINATING TO ME HOW EITHER WAY I WILL BE STUCK THERE SOMEHOW. I WOULD RATHER OTHERS LOVE ME MORE SO THEN THE HATE BUT OF COURSE WE SIMPLY CAN'T AVOID THE LATER. ONE THING THAT ANNOYS IS HOW MOST FOLKS ONLY WANT THE BEST...WHICH TRANSLATES TO  IF I SHOW THE BAD THEY LEAVE UNTIL THEY NEED FROM ME. LIKE AS IF I WAS SANTA...THE LIST OF THOSE WHO WOULD BE BEGGING ME FOR STUFF IN A 'ME ME ME' MANNER WOULD BE LONG. YET IF THE MOMENT I SHOULD STOP AND FALTER AND HAVE A NEED THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS HIDE UNTIL I GET CLEAN AND SHINE AGAIN. A TRUE FRIEND AND GOOD PERSON WOULD STOP AND HELP SUCH FALLEN PERSON UP WITHOUT ASKING WHATS IN IT FOR THEM. SADLY THOUGH ITS THE ONES WHO COPY ME AND ACT LIKE THEIR SUCCESS BASED ON MY STUFF WAS ALL THEM. I KNOW THAT SHOULD SEEM LIKE A FORM OF FLATTERY AND NOT THE TRUE EGO THAT ARISES OUT OF MY DARKNESS BUT IT BOILS AT ME BECAUSE THOSE FOLK ARE THE ONES WHO STOP BEING MY FRIEND ALTOGETHER AS THEIR GUILT RISES TO THE SURFACE OF THEIR MINDS. I DO BLESS THEM  ANY WAYS AND WISH THEM THE BEST AS THAT'S WHAT A POLITE PERSON DOES. I ALSO PUT IT IN THE LIBRARY OF MY MIND UNDER LESSONS LEARNED. I HAVE COME ALONG WAY SINCE MY TIME IN HELL AND HAVE SO MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR IN LIFE AND NOW HAVE FRIENDS WHO ENCOURAGE ME. ITS JUST WHEN THERE'S ONLY ONE THERE AS I REACH OUT I WONDER ABOUT THE MAJORITY OF HUMANS. YES I NOW AM NOT FULLY WITH THE CHRISTIANS POINT OF VIEW AND SLOWED MY SPIN A BIT TO LOOK AROUND FOR A WHILE. BUT MY LOVE OF THE EARTH AND LACK OF EXTREME REBELLION SHOULD NOT HAVE LOST ME FRIENDS. I AM DISAPPOINTED TO SAY THE LEAST AS LEAVING FOLKS BEHIND IS NOT IN MY NATURE. I AM LEARNING TO LET GO OF THE IDEA THAT EVERYONE CAN BE SAVED AS THAT IS UNREALISTIC AND HAS GOTTEN ME IN TROUBLE OVER THE YEARS. IT JUST BUGS ME THAT MANY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT I AM ANGRY, SAD, OR JUST PLAIN ANNOYED. THEY ARE THE THINGS WE ALL DEAL WITH AND IF THE SHEER FACT THAT AN ANGEL OR EVEN JESUS IS EVEN REMOTELY HUMAN BOTHERS SOME FOLKS THEN OH WELL...BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. I JUST REMAIN HAPPY KNOWING THAT SOMEHOW I WILL ALWAYS BE A THORN TO SOME OR THE BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE ROSE THE TRUE LOVER NOTICES. EITHER WAY I WON'T BE FORGOTTEN THAT'S FOR SURE.