this is video diary two...I AM out of my mind with little data and lots of wild. If you watch at the beginning a violet color forms near the kitchen window behind me. Then at minute three an orb flies out of the kitchen and enters my neck. it goes in and out at times. However if you have ear phones or can crank the sound you can hear indistinct voices and some overlaying music near by. No TV or radio was on neither was a fan. the furnace does kick on later and rattles some but that all. the cor formation goes down some...then turns bright blue and pulses as it forms a distinct and very large person shape as I speak.

out of the mind of maddness diary 1

THIS IS THE FIRST OF MANY VIDEO DIARIES THAT GIVE A BACK GROUND ON HOW THE BOOK SERIES ORIGINALLY CAME TO LIFE.

    WELL FOLKS HERE IS THE FIRST INTRODUCTION BOOK TO THE OUT OF THE MIND OF MADDNESS SERIES..OUT OF THE MIND OF MADDNESS:THE NEXT STAGE OF THE GAME. IT HAS BEEN A LIFE LONG DREAM COME TRUE. IT GOES TO SHOW YOU WHERE'S THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY. JOIN ME IN MY JOURNEY THROUGH TIME AND DIFFERENT REALMS AS I ATTEMPT TO GET OUT OF MY OWN MAD MIND IN AN EFFORT TO HELP HUMANITY. I KNOW DEEP DOWN I HOLD THE KEY TO FIX THINGS IF I ONLY COULD FIGURE OUT JUST WHO AND WHERE I AM MEANWHILE. THIS BOOK IS AVAILABLE NOW THROUGH kdp.amazon.com RIGHT NOW SO GRAB YOUR COPY TODAY.

   WE DID IT! Well folks the out of the mind of maddness series is going paper back. That's right it's at the publishers now awaiting approval. The first one will be called 'the next stage of the game'. We are so thrilled words just don't come close to explaining how it feels to achieve a dream. Don't be jealous now it's so unseemly. Rejoice with us! As soon as I know more details I will be sure to let you all know. Ta ta for now my friends. Can't wait to say see you on the book stands.  

                                Every one wants justice.

     Every soldier knows the price to freedom and everyone in the field of justice knows that it too comes with a price. It is something everyone wants, craves, and seek...or so you would think. There are the ones who do the crime or wrong doing that would do nearly anything to either delay or supplant the justice that they know their victims will get someday. When you're a soldier of justice that can include freeing victims of slavery. Then there's the case of an angel of justice. We bring the angelic form of justice to the world. Our boss is called Raguel. He is more like internal affairs of the angels. He makes sure the angels follow the laws of god. When the angelic civil war happened he disappeared without a trace like so many of the angels of justice did. Some say they were locked in hell's prison under false pretenses.
    "They too deserved justice and freedom," I thought when I had met them. yes of course that was when I was in hell's prison my self. I ended up using my connection between the worlds to find them justice. I worked so hard to free them I had nearly forgot about myself. I didn't even realize I was related at first however the more time that went by the clearer that became to not only me but the whole world. many came to me with prayers for the saw the angel inside. the convinced me I was worthy of justice as well. I knew that would come with a great price, for you see that would mean releasing the dragon power I had pent up. I had to recall the warrior...as well as find a way to love my self. I could love the whole universe and do all sorts of great things for others...however I felt humbled when I turned it in words. I saw my own sins in my reflection of gods image.
    I was tasked with upholding gods tasks and laws. At some point even I had failed because I am human too after all. Nobody is perfect and as I found not even god and the goddess were above the universal laws. If they killed then they too had failed at universal love at some point. Now the price of which is being paid. Many fall away from faith. its not just the lack in faith in Christ or even a god by any name but in the lack of faith in love and compassion that hurts an angels heart. Then there's what happens to an angel of justice in times like these. When so many cry out that the world is lacking justice of all kinds it makes us cringe. With so much to do and so many that now die in the pursuit of freedom and justice it is as if our tasks never end. we are all left feeling as if this silly story is the never ending story from which there is no real escape. There is no easy answer either to all of this except pray things work out and all the magical's in the universe work together for a change. That doesn't exclude the work humans must do of course, as this is their world too.

      We all want so many things in life, mostly its to get out of what ever madness in which we live. That makes us all the same...part of a one that magically rules the world. Our dreams, fears and source of sadness comes from and goes to one place...the dream world.

                                  INDIVIDUAL CHAPTER 

    I HAVE BECOME AN INDIVIDUAL NOW WITH NOW CASH COW...A CHAPTER OF MY OWN HAS BEEN SHOWN TO ME YOU SEE. I BE SHAWN...FOR WE ALL KNOW THIS. I WAS GIVEN THE KISS OF DEATH AND CAME BACK...SORT OF. FROM ONE WORLD TO ANOTHER I DO SPEAK...TRY TO BE MEEK...YET STILL SEEK. I SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH NOW AND NOT SURE HOW. THERE WAS SO MANY LIES GOING AROUND I HAD FOUND THAT THE TERM I AM DID HAVE A SELFISH SIDE. WITH NO WHERE TO HIDE FROM MY SELF I HAD TO FACE THE TRUTH INSIDE OF ME. TWO BODIES IN MY CLOSET...THE RABBIT OF FERTILITY AND THE SOUL NAMED KITTY...DEAD AND BURIED INSIDE THE GARDEN I HAD FEED FROM. IT'S NO WONDER I WAS SICK WITH THOSE KIND OF THINGS CAUSING ME PAIN. EVEN IF I DID NOT GET JUSTICE FOR BEING MURDERED BACK THEN THE ANGER INSIDE OF ME WAS BURNING HOLES IN MY SOUL. IT WAS A PIECE OF COAL THAT WOULD NEVER BECOME A DIAMOND FROM THE PRESSURE...JUST SITS AND FESTERS. I REALIZED THE REVENGE WAS ON FATES HAND EVEN IF I DID THINK THAT MAN BE A BIT UNFAIR...I HAD TO GET RID OF THE HARE. WHEN THE GIANT CRYSTAL OF THE ATLANATIAN TEMPLE FELL ON TOP OF A PLEAIDIAN CAUSING A WAR AND SEALING PAIN INSIDE OF THE MEMORY OF THE PLANET. GAIA COULD BE REBORN A MILLION TIMES AND  THAT SOUL WOULD ALWAYS THINK OF THAT MOMENT WHEN IT CRUSHED HER BODY BECAUSE THREE WOMEN WANTED ALL THE GOLD AND JEMS INSIDE THE TEMPLE FOR THEM SELVES. IN THE MIDST OF THE WORST STORM THE ISLAND EVER SAW THEY STOLE EVERYTHING THE PORTALS NEEDED FOR BALANCE AND CONTROL. LIGHTENING THEN STRUCK THE MASSIVE 30 FOOT HIGH STONE AND WITH NO OTHER WAY TO CHANNEL AL THAT ENERGY LIKE USUAL IT TURNED THE STONE INTO A WEAPON WHILE SITTING ON TOP OF KITTIES SQUISHED BODY. THE ISLAND ENDED UP SINKING ALL BECAUSE OF CARELESS GREED. SO YOU SEE IT WASN'T JUST MY DEATH THAT WAS THE PROBLEM...COUNTLESS THOUSANDS OF OTHERS DIED TOO. IT CHANGED THE COURSE OF OUR WORLD FOREVER WITH NO WAY TO FIX THAT PART. WE HAD TO RESTART. SO LAST NIGHT I GAVE UP THE FIGHT AND LET GO OF LIFE. THE CONTRACT OF STRIFE WAS RIPPED UP AND SHE AGREED I INDEED DESERVED A CHANCE TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL FOR ONCE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE BUT I AM ON MY WAY OUT OF THE MIND OF MADDNESS. IT WILL NOT BE MY BANE FOR IT ALL IS THE SAME ANY WAYS. IT IS A SHAME IN MANY WAYS...BUT IT IS NOT MINE. I WAS CLEARED OF THOSE CHARGES WHEN THEY SAW THE TRUTH OF HOW I WAS DEAD AND THE WOMEN CONTINUED TO GATHER UP ALL THE RICHES THEY COULD BEFORE FLEEING SAFELY FROM THE SINKING ISLAND.
     I SAW MY SELF GO DOWN THE ELEVATOR FROM HEAVEN TO LIFE ONLY TO DISCOVER I WAS GOING TO DIE IMMEDIATELY. MY GUARDIAN ANGEL WAS THERE AND AS REAL AS ANY PERSON TO ME. I TOOK THE SHOT FOR HIM MORE THEN ONCE OVER THE YEARS AND HE KILLED HIMSELF TO BE WITH ME. I LAY IN THE BED AS THE WORLD UNFOLDED AROUND ME. TRUTH WAS IN ME THE WHOLE TIME AND EVEN THOUGH I DO KNOW IT IS BEFORE ME AS WELL IT STILL FEELS LIKE A SPELL OF PAIN SOME HOW. MY LOVE STILL IS DELAYED WITH HIS WORK AND SO I MUST DEAL BY MY SELF. MIKAELA COMES AND GOES FROM ME AS WELL AND MY MIND IS NOT AS CLEAR AS I THOUGHT IT WAS...I LOSE THINGS IN MY HEAD EVERY TIME I COME BACK FROM THE DEAD. SADLY THERE IS A PART OF ME THAT DOESN'T CARE THE WAY I SHOULD. I WOULD STILL DO CRAZY BRAVE STUFF BECAUSE MY LIFE ISN'T AS IMPORTANT TO ME AS OTHERS. MAYBE ITS MY WARRIOR SOUL FROM THE DAYS OF OLD. IT IS WARMER AND NOT SO COLD AND HURTFUL AS IT WAS ...I DO ADMIT I MISS MY SWEET CUZ. WHAT IS THERE TO DO BUT CONTINUE THROUGH THE DOOR AND PRAY WE DON'T ALL DIE IN A PLAGUE OR WAR...OR EVEN A GRAND SHOW OF THE SUN FLARES. I HEAR WE SHOULD DO LIKE MOTHER EARTH AND PUT ON SUCH A GRAND SHOW THE WORLD STOPS IN SHOCK AND SAYS 'WOW'. MAYBE THAT'S WHY I AM HERE...OR MAYBE ITS TO TEACH YOU HOW TO BE GREAT LEADERS AND TEACHERS WHILE I SIT IN SANCTUARY AND MEDITATE. I WOULD LIKE TO BE GREAT AND HAVE ALL SORTS OF MONEY LIKE OTHERS YES BUT MY GUESS IS THAT DOESN'T MATTER IN THE END...IT'S THE LOVE YOU GIVE AND SHOW YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. YOU CAN TAKE THOSE MEMORIES WITH YOU AFTER ALL BUT NOT THE MONEY AND STUFF YOU EARNED. I KNOW MANY FOLKS WHO IGNORE ME IN THAT SELFISH PURSUIT. I FEEL STEPPED ON SOME DAYS AS THEY USE MY WAYS TO MAKE THEM SELVES FAMOUS AND RICH. THOSE ARE THE ONES I WISH KARMA AND FATE WOULD VISIT...ALONG WITH ALL THOSE STILL ALIVE WHO HELP ME TO DIE WITH THEIR BLACK MAGIC WAYS. THEY BETTER WATCH OUT BECAUSE THOSE KINDS OF THINGS I AM TOLD HAVE A WAY OF CIRCLING BACK AROUND UNTIL IT HAS FOUND THE PROOF, THE MASTERS OF FATE AND KARMA, AND FINALLY YOU AS IF IT WAS ON A BOOMERANG. THE TRUTH SHALL NOT ONLY SET YOU FREE YOU SEE...IT ALSO CANT BE HIDDEN FOR LONG. IT ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO BE KNOWN, HEARD, SEEN, AND BELIEVED. 
    I TOOK THE BINDING CORDS OTHERS PUT ON MY SOUL WITH OTHERS AND PUT THEM BACK ON TO THE ONES THEY CAME FROM. THAT WAY IF IT COMES BACK IT WAS MEANT TO BE IN THIS LIFE TIME AND IF IT DOESN'T...IT WASN'T. I WANT IT TO BE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE WITH ME AND NOT SOME PAST OBLIGATION THEY FEEL. I WANT TO HEAL TOO AND THIS I KNEW WAS THEY WAY. YOU CAN PRAY OR DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY...WHILE I MAKE MY MIND STILL AND ALLOW THE UNIVERSE TO DO AS IT MAY. FOR IT IS NOT ON ME THESE THINGS I AM JUST A TOOL FOR IT NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I WILL NOT BE BOUND ALSO BECAUSE SOME ONE SAID SO...BUT BECAUSE I TRUST...I SEE THE PROOF BEFORE MY EYES...I HEAR THE SWEET WORDS FOR YOUR LIPS...AND NOT FROM AN EMPTY TEXT YOU SEND ME. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE ME ALL THE INFORMATION AS TO WHO YOU TRULY ARE. SOME ONE WANTS IT FROM ME AND YET THEY WONT GIVE THE SAME TO ME. THAT SCREAMS FOUL TO MANY I KNOW AND MAKES ME WONDER THE TRUTH BEHIND YOUR SHOW. ARE YOU JUST A PLAYER? A WOMANIZER WHO SEEKS A COLLECTION OF FOLLOWERS SO YOU FEEL IMPORTANT? I DON'T ASK FOR MONEY...NOW I THINK OF IT MAYBE I SHOULD...IT WOULD BOOST MY ABILITY TO CONTINUE ON THIS INDIVIDUAL CHAPTER OF LIFE.

              Twiddle dee dee can you see me?
              Come to me oh sweet lovely...
              Why don't you see the beauty I see?
               For such  beauty I would cross the sea...
               Oh to climb every mountain and scour                   every curve and corner...
               To hold you in my longing arms and                        make my soul warmer...
               Twiddle dee dee can you see me?
               How I wish you could come to me oh                         sweet lovely...
               Too many years have past since we                         shared the same space and time...
                 I would give every dime...
               Oh how I long to hold you in my arms                      once again my beauty...
               To have your sweet tasting lips on mine
                  I would roll back the time...
                Two souls entwined with burning desire
                Of an ever lasting fire that never goes                      Out...
                Give a shout and a moan as I take the                      Plunge in your deepest oceans...
                 Swim for fish as you make a wish...
                 Oh twiddle dee dee can you see me for I                    see thee my sweet beauty of a woman                      of  ever lasting desire.
                

            Over the years I have felt the pain of having my rights violated because of religious ideals. Human rights are not optional folks. I have been made to feel out casted by many over the years because I like both genders. It depends on the soul coming through or even the one I am dealing with at the moment the feelings strike to the surface. Until I came out of the closet and openly admitted that yes my girl body likes girls I hadn't realized the extent some would go to convince me I was going to hell like it was their personal mission to keep me from hell. I was there already...and to tell you the truth my personal collective of spirit friends are all victims of such extreme opinions. As a matter of fact at some point in the not so distant past it was legal to murder a gay person as if they were a piece of filth...unlike the murderer I guess. BULLSHIT! Quite a few were actually soldiers killed while on duty by fellow soldiers, others killed themselves over the issue, while some like Shawn...would put himself in the most dangerous situations in the hopes he would die. He was teased badly by many a female when he turned down their advances even if he was bi sexual and would have sex with a female if he was so inclined. It was more like he was a priest at heart and didn't want anything to do with sex at all...like me. Only he was much stronger at avoiding the need to masterbate unlike me. It's a crying shame how many souls were destroyed over this issue alone. One that was needless to say the least especially in an era when it was acceptable like the one all my friends came from. All it took was a couple assholes in charge to bring back old prejudices into the minds of a few natural killer types and convince them it was ok to harm based on a religious ideal. Which it is not of course but try saying that to them as they go around the world spewing their words like the vomit of a sick man. Many of the queens we now try to avoid were secretly among those as long as it applied to the men.
            That one sided feeling of the women was actually the main reason they targeted us all...total jealousy. It's not like the guys didn't do their manly duties and give them tons of kids to birth. Three of the queen goddess's, as they dubbed themselves vainly, were so upset if my male 'gay' friends even so much as spoke to their male friends like they would infect them by just talking as if they had the flu or something communicable. They went around telling everyone that was not directly connected to us or even their friends not thinking the enemy would ever feel the need to come by one day and tell us just what the two faced queen's goddess's were saying. They weren't believed exactly so cameras and audio equipment were placed around where the women would frequent so the words could be disproved. Only problem was our enemy was the only one's telling the truth to us and on top of that they had nothing to gain but opening our eyes. The more we listened the more we learned about how forked tongued our own rulers were becoming. It was too late to do anything about it however as they already had done the worst of their deeds by the time they were caught bragging about it all. The ones that over heard the queens were dead so they had nothing to worry about or so they thought...until they discovered that the main system had taken over our snooping task. It all went to the main crystal library and so they sought out to destroy that as well. However their actions might have sunk Atlantis but the crystal they so badly wanted disappeared into a tear in the fabric of the space time continuum. So the single most powerful crystal was lost and shattered into the pieces known as the gods and goddess's of old. The women then went through time and killed off most of the ancient ones in an effort to get them all except one...me. They actually needed the spirit friends of mine on their side too and did for a brief period when I was a nosy fool. However considering we were all set free and the meaning of that plus being partially accepted along with confidence in ourselves we decided to do our own thing for a change...no matter how pissed the others got. I laugh because as they seek a crystal gem...I integrated that some time ago and the only gem they'll find is a fleshling with abilities now. It just goes to show you...they're only concerned with objects still and not real people.
         In the future that we came from it actually was the norm for most to be uneducated in the traditional sense which included reading  and writing and those like us whom could were either really rich or just plain odd some how. We weren't rich as far as we knew but we were lucky enough to hide in an underground and really old building with very well preserved books, videos and educational and other various items off all kinds. It even had a store of food that was still good mostly. We were like kids with the huge place all to ourselves until the queens people found us and said us low lifes had no right to all such wealth and forced us out. The place we discovered later had a curse to it and as they violated that by removing more then they personally needed to survive...the spirit that placed the curse follows them to this day for their eternal greed. Why? because what they wanted was the main power core source taking the spirit that dwelled inside with them. The spirit liked how we had a free love thing going and as he was actually a gay rich man himself once he sympathized with us and not the children of his personal oppressors. This spirit said he was named after his real father and the name sent shock waves through us all...the great angel Michael. I remembered later that I actually had many kids my self in each life most never knowing who their parents were as I died soon after they were born or they were simply taken from me. That's another thing I have yet to tell my lord and love if he ever speaks again. It's unlikely he even knew he had kids with anyone and even if they were done in the astral sense soul kids are still kids. I wonder about them still to this day as I know there's at least three in each dimension an as there's more then 26 that number would be astronomical by now. Maybe some day if fate allows. For now I have to deal with the oddity of being mostly a male soul in a girl body as per my own wish...if I was going back in time I wanted to be respectable when it came to liking guys...now it seems like a silly wish to some degree...oh well.

     

   Normally I post a photo along with my blog but this one is different as this is of a subject I can not even picture yet its true. Many a year I thought I was nuts mostly because what I experienced in this world came in the form of visions or dreams. Then one day as I was doing a past life reading on one of my online friends I came across a shocking truth of not only her but my self...we knew each other. I sensed she was queen Sarah...one of the queens that plagued my various lives. She was basically a failure who got many killed when she did the unthinkable for power. She and I went to the time of Atlantis...along with another woman whom is now dead...they plotted to destroy a powerful weapon crystal...using me as a distraction. I was a guy on a ship you see when I was need to be a girl with them. My sister then became my mother now...and speaking to Sarah reawaken all those memories every one had hoped to stay buried. My sister tried to kill me on the ship and got me down to the ground where I looked like a girl after that...and that's when I met queen Sarah. She still doesn't know the whole story but now I can't trust any of them sadly. My sister mother freaked in this life now because I can heal fast if I wish to...thing is I barely want it. Their combined plots were why my people created their own collective separate from the royals who kept screwing shit up. They had no real idea what they were doing then and now and only bring chaos when they claim help. It seems like lately just as I think I know the truth from someone I see the deception involved and how in the past lives each one I knew failed me badly. Like queen Sarah...she too was later my guardian as a Templar and I a grail child.
    Sarah had me with others and they swore no harm would come but they chose to abandon me alone and go after the ark of the covenant instead...which is one reason they lost favor in the world besides the greed they later ended up with after. I was lost to the world and hidden in an under ground temple of mirrors until I bounced around through time and the multiverse worlds. Last night I traveled again to one of the queens rooms she had set aside for me after I went silent refusing to inter act with any of them. I burned many a book they needed for the crystal weapon...so much for their lies on the space ship too. I wasn't going to make it easy for them and why they thought this asshole would is beyond me. I might have a crazy need to die to protect the secret but I am definately not stupid. That's not the kind of power to fall in anyone's hands let alone power hungry control freaks. I mean really each of these fools now lie to me as if I am fragile one second or a complete bother the next. I can't keep their shit straight any more and don't believe its possible to make a utopia as nice an idea as that might be. I would like to think the prophecy of Jesus being accepted back and the world not suffering or hating anymore is true but a big part of me thinks that's a pipe dream... like me having a soul mate show up on my door step. I barely believe my old friend and secret crush would agree finally to come to me let alone all that other shit. Thanks to all the lies the woman and their forked tongued friends spoke I don't even think my sister queen Sarah's words no more. So what if this fool needs proof now...at some point someone has to show some sort of evidence...I mean really when the grail says here I am come get me and no one bothers to do anything but laugh and make fun whats a person supposed to think. That's all they ever did to me before so why would now be the same? Jesus him self could show up and most folks would claim anti-christ if he made on mistake. But I will continue on me own as I know my destiny runs separate from theirs after awhile...I'd rather be an unknown basically then a royal blame-tard...aka the fool who gets blamed even though they had no clue their own people plot against them and were so good at deception even the best oracle can't see. then again we never really want to see the faults of those we love do we? I most imagine that's why my lord has trouble believing me...but then again...he is missing out on meeting up with his true love and his best destiny by ignoring me. Oh well...guess that's on his head not mine as at least I did the right thing by speaking the truth. I can't make folks believe it...i can only say it.

              
               The two queen's battled for a win in a game some one else controlled. Then one day there was only one and when the controller thought the game was over, the piece became real. The remaining queen got away out of sight enough to regain her size and then killed the controller, taking his power for her self. She  then moved on to another world without stopping to realize the controller was immortal and could follow where she went. The disposed queen also was immortal, so she too went full size before leaving with the former controller of the game. For most of eternity and in every realm they battled back and forth but the winning queen remained in power as everyone thought she was good. Being white after all helped with everyone's assumption's. Then without even noticing they all made it back to the original home world the white queen was wanted for many crimes. Most thought she was untouchable as she was the favorite friend of the most powerful lord. I alone knew the truth the could finish her off but didn't have the courage to tell the lord even though he was a friend of mine as well. However one day I simply quit the mission of a fools errand the white queen sent me on as I was an independent soldier anyways. I held no loyalty to her or her friends...except his lord. It broke my heart to tell him that the women had his wife killed considering he wasn't sure if he could trust me after I quit. My lord was to meet with me prior to my quitting and without explanation he never showed or sent notice as to why he never came. My soul knew the answer was because he had his head filled with the lies from those forked tongues he called friends. "Damn those women" I thought bitterly as word of other rumors filled my ears.
      I had spoken to the admiral that had been promoted to fill my position after not having done so in many long years. She was once trying to be my girlfriend but I was married to my work and had a secret crush on some one else so that never happened between us. I finally had to tell some one and she was shocked not by the murder thing but by some thing else I had said. I spoke of a powerful crystal every one sought and they thought she had been gifted it by me when i quit as per the norm, but she had not. I ate the key stone gems long ago as they controlled a powerful world killing weapon. I had been given orders by god himself to give it to no one under any circumstances and they became part of my body and power. My ability to love changed the key stones forever. The problem is that the only one who can get the power from me is my lord and he refuses to come to my side so far as I know. I also know that in order to get them he has to kill me...and that's unlikely as I am the love he lost so long ago. So that is part of the curse I suffer under...along with my unwavering need to be independent and under nobody's rule.
     More then one fool has been goaded into trying to kill me for that power and only get a dead body each time. For what they don't realize is that's not how the power works...it's with love's vibration that releases it not in the flesh taking. The taking of the flesh creates the curse of wanting more flesh...love just is love and the source of life. Of course as I am a mirror soul I have taken on some of the abilities of the dragons and lion men who guard me  which increases it's intensity. Last night though I had a visit from the goddess herself and after she entered my willing body she learned more then she thought she would, and left angrily with a list of names from my mind. She opened the books of life and death together and sent out her wrath as a result of knowing just whom was killing her children. It was the secret of what happened to me however that sent her over the edge and after the fools who kept trying to kill me. Personally I am just tired of the whole game and how it drains me to deal with those fools constantly. That's why I quit again. I can't deal with the insanity and lies being spun out like a spider web of deceit across the whole world and feeling helpless to do any thing about it. 
     I eventually found out the over thrown queen joined with the white queen in hopes to change things but it's unlikely as I never did trust her word to be true. The former queen was actually responsible in part for Atlantis blowing up along with the white queen. Of course the world thought I had done so from the ship but as I was...actually...inside the power crystal used to blow things up and the thing had to controlled externally from the control room...I could not have done so. They now all seek that crystal like the holey grail and yet are also scared of me. I always wondered why I had to remain calm and now I know...I guess I could blow up...I wonder if it's literally? Any ways I guess only time will tell considering prophecies have yet to be full filled...I wonder if all that's a lie too as most everything I knew was any ways according to the collective council teachings. I say let them spin their own stupidity around them selves only for once...it would be nice if everyone especially my lord could see them for whom they really are...but that's just a pipe dream...like my love for him...even if I do out rank him in the royal sense...he still has to believe me and decide for himself what to do.       

    THE WORD MADDNESS IN THE TITLE OUT OF THE MIND OF MADDNESS IS SPELLED WRONG, YES WE ADMIT, AS I AM PARTIALLY BLIND YOU SHOULD KNOW. I LEFT IT LIKE THAT AFTER I SET THE TITLE PAGE UP...CRAZY SHIT I THOUGHT...CONSIDERING I AM A WRITER AND I KNOW HOW TO SPELL. I SAID OH WELL WHAT THE FUCK EVER AFTER WORDS. I STARTED WRITING THE STORY ORIGINALLY AS A CHILD WHEN I WAS PLAGUED BY VIVID AND LUCID DREAMS OF A DIFFERENT WORLD I COULD NOT EXPLAIN. OVER THE YEARS I MANAGED TO PICK UP SPIRITS FROM THE VARIOUS PLACES I TRAVELED...BUT MOSTLY MY MULTIPLICITY COMES FROM A SEVERE HEAD INJURY TO SEVERAL PARTS OF MY BRAIN AND WITH THE CONTINUED STRESS I DEVELOPED A MULTIPLE. THE DOCTORS CALLED IT DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER AND I CALL IT MADNESS. I THOUGHT BY WRITING IT WOULD STOP LIKE THE DOCTORS SAID BUT ALL IT DID WAS TO CREATE A COOPERATION WHICH A SIT TURNS OUT IS THE BEST ON COULD EXPECT FROM THIS DISORDER. NOW AS MY OVER FIRED RIGHT FRONT TEMPERAL AREA OF THE BRAIN ACTIVATES OTHER PARTS I FEEL THE SPIRITUALITY OF GOD FLOW THROUGH ME LIKE I WAS AN ANGEL. THEN ONE DAY SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID A FANCY SERIES OF TESTS AND SAID I HAD A DISORDER CALLED ANGEL MEN SYNDROME ON TOP OF MULTIPLE FORMS OF DYSLEXIA AS WELL AS OTHER ISSUES. IT MADNESS I TELL YOU WHAT. OTHERS SAY ITS A GIFT BUT I AM NOT SO SURE PERSONALLY. 
    THE OTHERS THAT COME OUT ARE GENUINE SPIRITS AND KIN IN MANY WAYS TO ME CRAZY AS THAT MIGHT SEEM. I WISH I WAS SMARTER AND PRETTIER OR AT LEAST THE SOLDIER THE MALE IN ME REMEMBERS BEING. I HAD A LOT OF THERAPY OVER THE YEARS AND ACCORDING TO THEM I AM NOT CRAZY BUT THE PHYSICS OF MY ISSUE SAY OTHER WISE. ONCE FIRED UP THE BRAIN DOES NOT GO BACK...AND AS I HAD AMNESIA AND BRAIN DAMAGE FROM A SEVERE HEAD INJURY THEY SAY SOME PARTS WERE EFFECTIVELY REROUTED TO COMPENSATE. MY FRIENDS TALK OF INCREASING VIBRATIONS OF THE BRAIN AND BODY AND ALL THAT LEADS TO WHEN I AM ALONE IS INSANITY. I NEED A FRIEND OF LIKE MIND LIVING WITH ME OR I FEAR I WILL END UP IN A MENTAL WARD. YEARS THAT'S MY WORST FEAR AS I HAVE BEEN THERE  BEFORE. SO YOU KNOW THE INCREASED SIZE OF TEXT FONT IS NOT SHOUTING IT IS SO IT CAN BE READ EASIER BY FOLKS LIKE ME WITH BAD EYES. 
       THIS BLOG IS  ABOUT THE REAL AUTHOR...MICHELE...AND SO YOU KNOW ALSO I HAVE AT LEAST EIGHT LEGITIMATE PERSONALITIES. MY EYE COLOR, SPEECH AND MANNERISMS CHANGE WITH EACH ONE. FROM MALES OF SEVERAL KINDS TO FEMALES AND EVEN A HERMAPHIDITE. THE HERM AS I SAY FOR SHORT IS THE ORIGINAL PERSONALITY OF THE BODY. I AM A MESS AND WHEN I AM STRESSED IT GETS WORSE. YET WITH THE TEACHINGS OF LOVES STABILITY AND FRIENDSHIPS I HAVE RECEIVED I FEEL MORE STABLE THANK FULLY. ONE THING IS FOR SURE...I CAN'T STOP WRITING...IT'S IN MY BLOOD AND MY OBSESSION NOW. EACH PERSON IN ME HAS A STORY TO TELL HENCE THE BLOG. SO I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND ME SOME NOW. ALL WE TRULY WANT IS TO NOT BE FORGOTTEN AND LOVED...TO BE REASSURED THAT IT WILL BE ALRIGHT. I GIVE OUT THOSE STATEMENTS EVERY DAY TO OTHERS
WITH THE BELIEF IT IS RETURNED AGAIN TO ME. MY GREATEST WISH IN LIFE IS TO HAVE THE MAN OF MY DREAMS IN MY LIFE. A MAN WHO LOVES MY MADNESS...A MAN WHO WILL HELP ME OUT OF THE MIND OF MADNESS I LIVE IN EVERY DAY.  

                I was given a crown of absolute beauty long ago in a time yet to be for the unity between the dragons, the angels and the the goddess. I was prepared however it didn't compare to living in the free air. Guards surrounded me at every step and even though I was considered queen and my word mattered deep down I still felt like a prisoner to this world. So I was granted a normal life where I could still see the world I left and discovered it was not a gift granted me. I had been displaced by some women that were of a better race then I as I was mere human and they be powerful magical's from the same world Jesus was allegedly from...far away. I knew they meant well and I hadn't a real clue how to rule compared to them. I try not to see my self as less then them however because I was sent through time and am now helpless to change that fact it is apparent. Oh those days were wonderful what with all the respect and honor involved. I do miss being in the flesh with my friends and family sadly. The crown doesn't mean much in a world that barely listens to anyone but themselves. Anyone gets more then them and they rebel as if to render the whole world as poor as them. Yes being greedy is a problem and now I can see just why those other women wanted my world...it was rich with gold, gems and jewels of all kinds. For you see we didn't even care much besides the beauty and mystery of it all. They knew the dragons caves were filled with all the riches they could ever want and set out to kill our kind to satisfy their greedy need. Yes some dragons became enraged enough to attack the humans in villages near their homes but they were killing the children. The dragons merely were instinctively protecting themselves as were the humans they attacked. So it became a tit for tat and survival of the fittest and the humans won out with the help of the off worlders. Now it is what to do?
      The humans need help from our former enemies as do the angels which makes the enemy of our enemy our friends. The bug eyed aliens are back and now they all agree with the point we tried to make long ago...they bugs have to go. As it turns out each of our allies were not aliens as they all lived on earth before as we did...but the bugs did not. They are like parasites moving from system to system destroying and controlling everything until all the resources are gone then the world ends up like mars or the former planet of the giants that now is the asteroid belt. They benefit from the fighting the humans you see as they feed on the negative energy created. They held many of us slaves over the years by harming our family and taking the children as sacrifices. I simply could not allow this and wondered through time doing as I could until I could no more. Every so often my spirit friends travel through time and do as they have to to change things away from the worst we came from and I can see it is helping. With every new discovery made I chuckle and wonder which crazy fool went back to place those things just so proof could be found later. They claim my punishment is actually a blessing in disguise and I am actually beginning to agree. Now I can chuckle and live somewhat secretly on the side lines of the game the bug women started. Needless to say the women don't look like bugs in reality they just act like one and their magic is selfish. Even when they claim to be healing they always fall sort and for those that can see in souls it is obvious they're truly hypocrites. They claim perfection until a being like me is around and their lies come unbound for every to see plainly. That's the main reason they hate me...I make their kind reveal their true selfish natures and fate finds them. I do not control  fate and their karma is their own...they just get pissed when others see the true selfishness inside they wanted to hide.
     Over the years these bug women had many a child of both genders and now claim rights to the planet as well while holding the world under their selfish spell. These beings are easy to spot even though they look human. They are extremely egotistical, greedy, and generally bossy in nature. That's why it boils down to the way people act towards each other. The sad thing is that we live on a very easily upset planet and she is now going through a change that she naturally does periodically. Yes we all did upset the balance of things with the invention of industry and other forms of technology and even though the way to change is in front of us it is now too ingrained as part of our mentality. What to do? is a difficult question that many attempt to answer in many ways which is heart warming knowing many are attempting something at least. I still will never get the future warnings out of my head and that's a good thing for we all need these kinds of things so we don't go in that horror filled direction. My friends and I continue to do as we must to teach others as there is no such thing as too late to wake the fuck up to these issues. I do know it is possible to change the hearts of even the relation to these bugs as I have met some of those folks and some secretly now help us in any way they can. So as I think of the crown I once wore I pray the world war three predicted is stopped and the ideal of cooperation and love becomes stronger then the dark side of our natures. Yes even I have to work on how strong my inner dragon remains and allowing the freedom I experience presently wash over and through me so I can reveal in my dignity and self respect that my dear friend reminded me of recently. I believe it will work if enough people agree with me and do their best to change the world around them as well.

     I SURE HAVE LEARNED A LOT OVER THE  YEARS FROM SHAKESPEARE, LIKE THE SAYING..."LOVE ME OR HATE ME BOTH ARE IN MY FAVOR...IF YOU LOVE ME I WILL ALWAYS BE IN YOUR HEART...HATE ME AND I WILL ALWAYS BE ON YOUR MIND." IT'S FASCINATING TO ME HOW EITHER WAY I WILL BE STUCK THERE SOMEHOW. I WOULD RATHER OTHERS LOVE ME MORE SO THEN THE HATE BUT OF COURSE WE SIMPLY CAN'T AVOID THE LATER. ONE THING THAT ANNOYS IS HOW MOST FOLKS ONLY WANT THE BEST...WHICH TRANSLATES TO  IF I SHOW THE BAD THEY LEAVE UNTIL THEY NEED FROM ME. LIKE AS IF I WAS SANTA...THE LIST OF THOSE WHO WOULD BE BEGGING ME FOR STUFF IN A 'ME ME ME' MANNER WOULD BE LONG. YET IF THE MOMENT I SHOULD STOP AND FALTER AND HAVE A NEED THE VAST MAJORITY OF FOLKS HIDE UNTIL I GET CLEAN AND SHINE AGAIN. A TRUE FRIEND AND GOOD PERSON WOULD STOP AND HELP SUCH FALLEN PERSON UP WITHOUT ASKING WHATS IN IT FOR THEM. SADLY THOUGH ITS THE ONES WHO COPY ME AND ACT LIKE THEIR SUCCESS BASED ON MY STUFF WAS ALL THEM. I KNOW THAT SHOULD SEEM LIKE A FORM OF FLATTERY AND NOT THE TRUE EGO THAT ARISES OUT OF MY DARKNESS BUT IT BOILS AT ME BECAUSE THOSE FOLK ARE THE ONES WHO STOP BEING MY FRIEND ALTOGETHER AS THEIR GUILT RISES TO THE SURFACE OF THEIR MINDS. I DO BLESS THEM  ANY WAYS AND WISH THEM THE BEST AS THAT'S WHAT A POLITE PERSON DOES. I ALSO PUT IT IN THE LIBRARY OF MY MIND UNDER LESSONS LEARNED. I HAVE COME ALONG WAY SINCE MY TIME IN HELL AND HAVE SO MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR IN LIFE AND NOW HAVE FRIENDS WHO ENCOURAGE ME. ITS JUST WHEN THERE'S ONLY ONE THERE AS I REACH OUT I WONDER ABOUT THE MAJORITY OF HUMANS. YES I NOW AM NOT FULLY WITH THE CHRISTIANS POINT OF VIEW AND SLOWED MY SPIN A BIT TO LOOK AROUND FOR A WHILE. BUT MY LOVE OF THE EARTH AND LACK OF EXTREME REBELLION SHOULD NOT HAVE LOST ME FRIENDS. I AM DISAPPOINTED TO SAY THE LEAST AS LEAVING FOLKS BEHIND IS NOT IN MY NATURE. I AM LEARNING TO LET GO OF THE IDEA THAT EVERYONE CAN BE SAVED AS THAT IS UNREALISTIC AND HAS GOTTEN ME IN TROUBLE OVER THE YEARS. IT JUST BUGS ME THAT MANY DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT I AM ANGRY, SAD, OR JUST PLAIN ANNOYED. THEY ARE THE THINGS WE ALL DEAL WITH AND IF THE SHEER FACT THAT AN ANGEL OR EVEN JESUS IS EVEN REMOTELY HUMAN BOTHERS SOME FOLKS THEN OH WELL...BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. I JUST REMAIN HAPPY KNOWING THAT SOMEHOW I WILL ALWAYS BE A THORN TO SOME OR THE BEAUTIFUL PART OF THE ROSE THE TRUE LOVER NOTICES. EITHER WAY I WON'T BE FORGOTTEN THAT'S FOR SURE.

                                   
                                SENSUALITY AND THE BIG O ARE NATURAL HOWEVER...

            WHEN YOU'RE FROM A WORLD THAT DOESN'T HAVE OPEN SEX TALK OR GIRLS WALKING AROUND HALF NAKED ONE DOESN'T THINK OF THAT SIDE OF LIFE AS MUCH. BUT THAT WAS THE OLD WAYS AND MODERN SOCIETY HAS MUCH LESS SHAME AS THEY USED TO...WHICH IS GOOD AS THERE'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF WHEN IT COMES TO THE HUMAN BODY. IT'S AN AWESOME WORK OF ART AFTER ALL. THE PROBLEM I AM HAVING IS THAT AFTER THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF THE ALONE KIND...AKA MASTERBATION...I HEAR AND SEE OTHERS HAVING A PARTNER IN THOSE MOMENTS AND NOW THINK I MIGHT BE A BIT CHOOSEY. OF COURSE YES WE DO  HAVE TO BE LEARY OF THE ENERGY OF OTHERS THAT WE INVITE IN OUR LIVES AND YES OUR BODIES ARE TEMPLES. EVERY TIME MY FRIENDS TALK OF THE SUBJECT AND POSTS PICTURES OF THE PRETTY WOMEN AND MEN I WANT TO EXPLODE. MY BOTTOM TWO CHAKRAS ARE SPINNING MADLY EVERY TIME MY DEAREST GETS ON THE SUBJECT WHICH DRIVES ME INTO THINKING I HAVEN'T HAD SEX IN MILLIONS OF YEARS. OH MY WORD I WANNA JUMP SOMEBODY. I KNOW ITS NATURAL FOR THIS SENSATION TO OCCUR WHEN THOSE CHAKRAS GET GROUNDED INTO MOTHER EARTH...MAYBE ITS HER FAULT. I DO KNOW THAT ONE OF THESE TIMES IT WILL  HAPPEN...IF I CAN BE PATIENT...NOT SURE OF THAT BUT I AM DOING MY SQUIRMY BEST.

                                   LOOK INTO MY EYE AND SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU


      The eyes are the window to the soul and so i want you to look into my eye and see how much I love you. Every part of my being wants you to know the depth I will go. Even if I have to go back to the beginning of time to rescue you from the cruel lies that resulted in a crystal around your body in a crystal being restart, I shall do just that for you my love. Last night we had to do just that as I said because someone found another aspect of you deep inside the crystal mountains of old sacred Atlantis. On the temple grounds we followed the two women and knew the de ja vu we felt meant something big was going to happen yet again. With no distractions heeded we did what was needed and stopped those two want to be angels before they could do greater harm. We got you back to the place we left and the time we were in the proper world. Our actions are fueled by the pure innocent love you give out to everyone without any thought for your self. No matter how often we tell you to save something for your self you still manage to nearly deplete your own reserves to do what comes naturally to you...love others. I understand you want to do what is right by making sure the healing flames go to the world in this time of fear but do you nearly have to die in the process? Great as your task is I can not  help but to recognize how unfair it all seems for others to expect one being to do it all. That's why this time around the decree of they must help themselves too went out...so the task isn't as great. It's such a burden to bear when you know how awful things can go as the sickness that spreads sends the horrors of hell with it. Love does conquer all even if some peoples bodies fail, their souls do not and will go on as long as they believed it would. love gives the strength to go into the maze of hell and hope carries through to the other side...for even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil...the rod and staff of loves gift have strengthened my soul. Because of all the things you taught us and the sacrifices you had to give to save our souls and our very lives we dedicated our everything unto you my love. Yes we could not deny that we need to make the earth a better place and support the goddess's efforts, we still must realize that part of that task is taking care of the humans as well. the best advice you ever gave was that no matter the hell going on around you focus not on that entirely. Yes shit does happen but remember with your very last breath the love you did see in the eye of at least one being, wither it be beast or human. Laughter is also a key to surviving these times...no matter how inappropriate it might appear...laughter brings up the love that rests inside everyone's soul. Never forget these things as you look into my eye and see the love I eternally have for you.

                                                   
                                                 LET THE LIGHT SHINE THROUGH


         I walked down a lonely road, ever so quiet it all seemed, thinking about how I needed to let the light shine right through my very soul. Light beams of the suns purity brings clarity to every thing so we don't stumble along the way through life's journey. I spent so much time inside of the closed doors of insanity I had almost forgotten the simple beauty of the world. The colors of fall signify so many changes and to some it brings depression, just knowing the snow soon will fall down blanketing the earth in cold white flakes of frozen water droplets. To me though the crisp air that swirled around me as I tarry slowly down the road seemed like heaven. I could almost hear the choir of angels singing about the exquisite sight I saw and that's when I noticed a presence beyond compare near by. His body came into view and even though he looked of an ordinary man he had an aura about him of the most absolutely handsome and charming creature to ever exist. I could feel the love's light radiate off his body as I approached timidly. I wanted to do anything to remain at his side after a moment of polite chatter. I had no idea who this man was or even where he came from and after he was gone I was convinced I had found love for the first time. I searched all of the universe for the longest time and found many of his kin who needed help. Thus began my never ending mission to do all I could for them in his stead. Together we went through hell and back and only caught a moment of his time every so often which seemed to be enough mostly. Then when we got home to earth I found my self on the same road I once met my secret love and my soul was renewed with the thought that we would once again cross paths. I had many a lover over the years but none could compare to that angel man whose hair was made of silver to my minds eye. Amazingly one day I found him on the social networking site and I simply could not resist friending him just to have anything to do with him once again. I felt it was doomed but my friends kept insisting I keep up all my other work while learning as much as I could from this ever so brilliant man. I felt odd as he energized my very being and worried it was the sickness coming on but they laughed at my young minded nature. "No" they reminded me "you're not a vampire, he is an electric angel and their love does that to folks." I felt silly of course needless to say and yet carried on my lessons and tasks as usual all the while giggling inside at the memories. I wondered if he remembered this silly silver girl who tended to shift to a big kat when he was too close. Then one day I came into my own maturity and nearly everything about me was red. I tried to undo that thinking it was going to make everyone dead. Once again I was informed it was just my favorite color my Celtic Furian attitude could kill someone if I wasn't careful with my temper but generally I was an angel hearted fool who just liked to love everyone and have a good time. Funny how we have to be reminded of these kind of things at times. I felt so much stronger then I had ever imagined I could be that I even dared step towards my destiny for a change. Why not I tried everything else and found it the wrong direction any ways, and none of us wanted to go back into the darkness no matter you paid us. Nothing in this universe was worth that. I do know that we have to let the light shine through our very souls in an effort to cleanse the darkness from the inside out. I am ever so grateful my new friends finally understand our point of view too as it makes the idea of true and complete unity seem closer then just a dream. So many songs float through my head about this topic that it brings me to another way to tell you are near a real angel besides the light they shine from their souls...their ability to do magic with music. Ah I love music for god is a DJ, love is his magical music, life is the dance floor, and we are the notes dancing around. So let's shine real bright to make him as proud as a sunny day filtering through colorful trees makes the goddess, for we are the care takers of both after all on this ever so beautiful blue gem we call earth.

                                                          IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE

    There came a point when we realized we didn't truly fit in with the angels or any one else and we had to decide what it was all about in the first place...it was all about love. Nothing more and nothing less. How one feels about love, wither you except it in your hearts, and wither you give it out. Everything is a spell you see. Everything you say and do not only becomes a part of you but others around you. We knew many magicals that kept calling people baby as a term of endearment but it makes some feel like a put down to the point it actually lessens them. We knew we loved each other despite how little and small we felt around the greater ones. We heard many use the words I love you over the years its just when there is no physical show of affection from other humans we tend to not fully believe beyond the words. we can give out all we have at times leaving little for ourselves because most of us forget ourselves thinking it is selfish. It is not of course to think of your self but then again when that is all you talk of it starts to sound it to others. An angel is one of those whom usually give out more then they keep. Even they need to hear and feel it from others though which is something many forget at times. We do exist too and want to be believed like everyone else. Earth bound angels tend to begin to feel the same conflicts as humans after a while which is why a search went on for them. The hell earth can create hid them from not only the world but their own kind. because we had taken a vow to protect a child of the goddess and god we had to be on our own and hid intentionally until the inheritor was ready to reveal him herself. Sadly because the grail child didn't know love and was in the hands of a demon possessed parent she ended up in hell along with all of us. Thank fully an angel got us out and reminded us all of love in its purest form...from the heart. we ended up going against our intuition and announcing who we were to the world which set the ball of change rolling. They taught us so much more then what our DNA could do just by being our friend. Its a simple concept that can be difficult to accept when you never really knew one. The more the world thought we were funny the more we were reminded of the best part of being on earth...the ability to enjoy ones self. We did try to pull out of the system as per our old habits of negativity set in only to get a mind full of prayers that felt like knives hitting our heart and soul. It was the first true telepathic angelic communication we had and were unsure what it was or where it came from. So we went with the urge to check back online to the social media site and were shocked. the numerous pleas from friends begging us to not go away were so heart felt we cried. I don't think even Jesus realized how much everyone wanted him till we felt their desperate need for his children to remain. The goddess herself began to dance again happily as the flood of emotions woke everyone connected to us. The kundalini effect of love in our combined minds eye was the strongest we ever experienced and we all solidified in our mission. Despite the difficulty we face we know its worth it. The world desperately needs to know they have heroes who are willing to not only save them, or even the world but love everyone plain and simple. That's why we chose unity. Everyone of all races, religions, beliefs, political status, rich, poor, wild or even normal minded need to be loved. It boiled down to that one concept as we thought back forward and everywhere else in the quilt of our multiverse. IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE...PURE AND SIMPLE.

    Most of us were changed by magic and constant pressure from the masters. You might say its impossible to go from being human to a canine but when someone treats you like a dog long enough you become one eventually. The portal connection solidified us inside of Michele and in doing so our canine selves made her into a Lycan. It is considered to be a mental illness in this world but in our world they were convinced it was a disease you see. We had been on the search for the answer to one of the worst problems our world knew...until the vampires emerged. So it became our peoples task to find the cure for Vampirism as well and so we boarded a research vessel know as the Angelica piloted by Admiral Mirium. Many things had to be changed to accommidate our special needs as canine shifters which wasn't a problem at first, until the vampires came aboard. The whole top level of bosses had become infected and at that point the best we could do was give temporary treatment. They rumor was the cure was lost in earths past and the source had been killed so it all seemed to be doomed. Only the blood of a full blooded angelic rose line could summon the cure but there was none left alive as far as we knew at that point. The vessel angelica suddenly had a massive core explosion one day and all the survivors had been sent in the emergency to another vessel called the admiralty. There we were told we were mentally ill with no hope for a cure to be found we were isolated from the world for eternity. When we got to Michele we discovered they blamed her for all the portal and illness issues as her stories allegedly started a negative wash over the system, so we set out to try and prove that wrong as all our lives depended on doing so. It was highly unlikely in any case and we did prove her innocence but the grey bosses didn't care as we still couldn't fix it for them nor could we give all the answers any more. They too rejected us along with most of our kind as the portal sickness had taken hold of most everyone. One of the main symptoms is severe depression and anxiety along with other life threatening disorders that crop up mysteriously with no cause and no cure. The more people with this disorder that are in one spot the worse it quickly becomes which spirals violently into mass hysteria. You add magic on top of all of that and you have a case for disaster. That was the very reason why Jesus said magic shouldn't be done, because even though the issue started before humans came along...they get the disorder worse then we do. We have hopes the newly arriving angels could help but its unlikely they know of the earth bound issue...at least I hope its only earth bound and not universal. Then again that would explain some of the stories my parents and grand parents used to tell of what happened to the ancient gods of old and why many came here to colonize earth. Of course the key to the cure lays in human hearts and minds and can only be unlocked by the light and love of our god...or what ever name you use to describe the alpha and omega. I pray the terrible fate that awaits us all in the event the angels fail to awaken the love inside the reincarnated rose line source does not happen because the place we're from is an awful place indeed. With great love to all of you reading this...Angel...(that is the new nick-name I chose by the way.) Namaste love and blessings to all.

    I am admiral Shawn Michele Jeremiah Christian. I came from the future in an effort to attempt to prevent the worst case revelation style scenario from happening and destroying our world. I come with the greatest spirits of love known. Each of my shipmates, friends and family are oracles in our world and were tasked with giving knowledge to the Galatic federation royals that they depended on to do their jobs. We were stolen away by our own people in a swirl of negativity that sent us all into eternal slavery. At least our masters thought it would be eternal until we met the arch angels of heaven. They don't like slavery like our ancestors of America and freed us instinctively. When they left to continue their own tasks we stole a space ship and attempted to follow thinking we were on a far off planet only to discover we were on earth the whole time...a possible future earth. the ship we used was a unique being with a mind of its won and the ability to travel through time not just space. At some point we all died physically and discovered another amazing miracle...we were part of another unique type of vessel. The vessel we were on was called a 'body ship' as it was an actual human body and we were spirits inhabiting, not possessing, a rose line angel relation. This vessel was amazingly my blood twin sister that had been kidnapped from our world and sent away by our queen mother. Imagine our shock when we all woke up together during her assenscon processing. The problem was that our combined knowledge of the future could help save everything and it sadly brings grave danger to the sister angel vessel we depend on for continued life. Angel is an oracle as well but her main talent is a medium nexus portal key that can control the vale between worlds and unfortunately she is broken and stuck open since birth. Thus is the main source of the madness she incurs as it opens us up as well and floods her mind with a telepathic confusion of information from all those around her. Now we seek your help. We need all the love you can muster so the one source remains in love or all is lost.